One Week Ago...

It was only a week ago that we buried our little boy. I think I just realized that a minute ago. At times it seems like longer than a week. It's hard to believe that only 13 days ago he entered our world only for a brief time. It was way to short. I love him! I miss him terribly! I cry daily for the most part, but am doing better than I would have thought. We've had so much support and family lending a helping hand.

My parents left on Tuesday morning after Patrick's funeral. My aunt, Nan, stayed with us through Thursday to help. I was so sad to see her leave for the airport. I can't wait to get to visit with her again. She brings so much comfort to me. Then Friday morning, Sue, Jason's mom came. She is still here and will be leaving on Thursday. She's definitely been keeping the house running, laundry and dishes clean, and spending lots of time outside with the boys. I'm glad she's an outdoors person, although her flowers are probably a lot easier to tend too. Liz also came over this past weekend. I know the boys enjoyed seeing their favorite babysitter. It's a mutual admiration of the boys and her. Ben has a run for his money when he gets to town.

Wednesday, Jason, Jackson, and I went to SMG to visit Patrick. It was the first time I'd been back since the funeral on Monday. I didn't want my first time going back to be on Sunday when I went to church. I brought plenty of kleenex, but didn't need one. I felt completely calm and we talked to Jackson about his brother. I only hope Jackson doesn't think that dirt is named Patrick. We'll have to keep working on that. As we were leaving the garden, Jackson was holding Jason and my hand's. He turned his head to look back and said, "Bye-Bye Patrick, Bye-Bye Patrick." It was sooooo cute. It's like he knew all along about his brother. It was moving. I try to keep Patrick alive in my conversations, thoughts, prayers, blog, whatever I am doing at the time. It was what Fr. Mike said to do at the funeral and I agree. He is alive! More alive now than even we are. Rejoicing in heaven with his other brother or sister. Watching over all of us! Seeing me at Mass each week and praying for us! It does make it somewhat easier but I would still rather have him here.

Peace and Love,

Lisa