We were gonna have a baby, but we had an angel instead...

On Monday,  a friend from my mom's group, Megan, handed me this book.  At first, I thought, after reading just the title, I'll never be able to read it.  Feeling strong that afternoon, I cracked open the book and read it.  It's such a great story, especially for kids who are older than mine and really can't understand what's going on.  I have it on my mantle in our playroom and glance at the cover often.  Something about "having an angel" is really sweet.  

I get asked a lot how I'm holding up so well.  I've told many of you that I truly believe that because so many people are praying for us, that I can feel those prayers sustaining us everyday.  This is not a normal situation, and I face strangers who do not know what is going on and have to try and have a conversation as if this is a normal pregnancy.  If they start digging, I eventually tell them the story.  I hope that through my example, people will see that all life is valuable, even the unborn.  Choosing to carry a baby to term knowing that I'll never have the chance to get to know him, makes me appreciate the 2 beautiful boys I have and the wonderful supporting husband, who is also dealing with this on his own terms.  This isn't a loss for just our family, it's a loss for my parents, Jason's parents, our siblings and as many of you have said, "this is our baby too!"  

Lastly, I came across this prayer a couple of weeks ago.  I felt mixed emotions as I read it and yet I had some comfort from it as well.  I'd like to share it with all of you as many of us need to read this...

Your Cross

The everlasting God has in His wisdom foreseen from 

eternity the cross that He now presents to you as a gift from

 His inmost Heart.  This cross He now sends you He has 

considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His 

Divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving

 arms and weighed with His own hands to see that it be not 

one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you. He has 

blessed it with His holy name, annointed it with His grace, 

perfumed it with His consolation, taken one last 

glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you 

from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, 

an alms of the all-merciful love of God.

- St. Francis de Sales