Sunday, July 26, 2009


I just have to say that I have the best friends in the whole world. So many of you know that I feel my friends are my family. Never has this been more clear than the last few years. Some of you have been around since before I met Jason. Some of you I met because of Jason and were by our side through his 6 month battle against cancer. Then you were there as we desperately wanted to have a baby and couldn't. Finally, we got pregnant and soon after miscarried, only to find out a month later we were pregnant again with Jackson. Then there were you who were there for Jackson's birth and the aftermath that came afterwards, praying as my personal prayer warriors. We caught a small break with our uneventful pregnancy and birth of Brayden. Now with this special baby, you've proven your love and loyalty again as you stand by our sides. Without you, we wouldn't be able to make it. There is something about friends that family just can't replace, and visa-versa.

Thank you Laura for your sweet card I got in the mail yesterday afternoon; Stacey, thanks for your quick email to check in; Jill your phone calls are always a treat. And to those of you who I failed to mention, please know that I think of you often, pray for you daily, and look forward to our next visit, phone call, or playdate. I just wanted to say thank you for your friendship. And to my best friend, Jason, you are a great husband and father to our beautiful boys and we'll survive the climb up this mountain too.


Friday, July 24, 2009

A Week of Ups and Downs

It's been an interesting week for me. On a personal note, I just feel like I've hit a wall and have checked out for a while. It's been a long 14 weeks and I need a break. I can't pray any harder, any longer, and I'm not even asking for a miracle anymore. I am confident that what God has planned is what is best. I'm leaving it up to all of you to pray for a miracle, for me, and for Jason. This is taking it's toll on our marriage too. I love him and am thankful for him. I also want to run away and just be alone for the next few months and that's not fair to him either. Thankfully he's a patient man who loves me unconditionally and is by my side through this. We are processing this differently which poses its own issues. I guess as long as we don't hit the bottom at the same time, we'll be ok. We've been through so many other life-changing events together and have made it. I'm just trying to get all the loose ends wrapped up and "planned" if possible. I'm not afraid of asking people for help, but I just don't know what to ask and who to ask. The only part that is up in the air is who will stay with the boys at home, so Jason can be at the hospital with me during my recovery. Last time, he ended up being home with Jackson more than at the hospital and with the circumstances being what they are, I think I'm going to need him more with me. I'm sure between the grandparents and family, it'll all get taken care of.

Last weekend, I drove the boys and my babysitter, Liz, to Houston to see my parents. The boys slept great, had a great time running around on their land, playing with the hose, riding with Poppa on the tractor, and eating all of Maemie's yummy food. I especially loved the lemon cake. I think I actually ate it for dinner one night too. Good thing I'm not on the diabetes diet. :)

This week, we received a letter in the mail from Hawaiian Falls (a waterpark in the area). Apparently, someone nominated us to be "Family of the Week". Now, we didn't win the grand prize but they did send us free passes to use by the end of September. I think we'll try to go at the beginning of August. Thank you if it was you who thought we were worthy of that title.

I want to say congratulations to Aaron & Andi who welcomed their 3rd child, a baby boy, Cole yesterday. Can't wait to come see your little boy. I'm sure his big sisters are already in love with him.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

We Have A Date...

My doctor's appointment today went well, besides stepping on the scale, of course. I barely passed my 3 hour glucose test, so I don't have to do the diabetes diet or finger pricking. Woohoo! I'm so happy for that small blessing. Also, my c-section has been scheduled for Sept. 9th at 7am. There's a small possibility that the date could change depending on how the baby is doing. My doctor said that sometimes babies can start to go into distress under these circumstances, and then the date will stay the same, but if all is well, it could get pushed back another week. For now, we are leaving it on the schedule as is and we'll know more at my next appointment on the 29th when I have another sonogram.

I'll upload more pictures soon. I am just too tired to try and remember what to do and figure it out again. I promise when I have some free time, I'll work on it instead of taking a nap or watching tv. I take the breaks while I can since the boys usually have me going non-stop while they're awake.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

What A Week...

Well, it's been another busy week at our house. Jason worked at the ballpark and Alley Cats three nights last week. I'm glad this week, he'll be home with us more. I met with Fr. Jim at SMG to discuss some sort of memorial plaque we'd like to donate after the baby is born since he/she will be buried there. We ended up talking a lot about what has been going on, how I'm feeling, how Jason is doing, and what not. He has a gift of just having the perfect words to share with you when you are there. I could go see him every week, because he is so inspirational and comforting. It's nice to know he's there when I need him. I'm sure that will not be the last visit.

On Wednesday, Brayden had his 15 month well-check visit with the pediatrician. Where has the time gone? He was 23lbs13oz and 33 in tall. What a big boy! We love him and am so grateful he's healthy and happy. Our only obstacle now is getting him off his bottle. At least I'm trying to contain it to nap time and bedtime, so hopefully in the next couple of weeks, we'll be done.

Oh, did I mention, that I failed my 1 hour glucose test. So, Thursday, I had to drink that lovely concoction again for the 3 hour test. I don't know why I even bothered with the one hour since I've never passed it. I passed the 3 hour with Jackson, failed it with Brayden and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and am guessing that tomorrow I'll be getting a phone call saying to come in and meet with the nurse to go back on the diabetes diet and checking my blood-sugar levels again. Not looking forward to pricking my fingers 4 times a day. I'm starting to wonder if I'm borderline diabetic and just don't know it. I think I'll get checked a few months after I have this baby.

Saturday, we drove to Richardson to celebrate our niece, Rylee's 5th birthday. She had a fabulous party at a sprinkler park and the boys enjoyed every minute of it. Brayden was the only one who would even run through the spray ground, as Jackson mainly wanted to sit with Pa and run around the spray area. It was a great party and we had a lot of fun. Rylee got some pretty great gifts too.

Today, I hit the 29 week mark. I still can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going. I will be going to the doctor on Wednesday and should have a c-section date schedule pretty soon. From what I know, it's not likely that I'll make it to my c-section date, but then again, I don't ever seem to do anything the way the textbook says to. I've read that 32-35 weeks seems to be the average for someone with an abnormal pregnancy. Pre-term labor is common and I suspect that if I go into labor early, they'll just do my c-section then and not try to stop labor. Of course, I'm still hoping that there's a miracle happening and I'll get to hold and love on this baby for many years to come. We've decided on baby names so here you go... If it's a boy, Patrick Steven and a girl, Julie Elizabeth. I'm glad that decision is done and that we can pray for him/her by name now. If I find out what it is for sure, I'll let everyone know. I still think it's a boy, but there's no guarantee with that. Gonna hit the sack. Jackson got up at 1am and 6am last night as well as Brayden somewhere in between (thank you Liz for getting up with them and letting me sleep. I love you!). Don't want a long day after staying up too late assuming I'll sleep through the night. Sweet dreams everyone!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Sweet N Sour

So I had my glucose test this morning. Oh, what a wonderful way to start the day. I was hoping the boys would sleep until 7:30 so I wouldn't have to be awake a long time before my 9:00 appt. Of course, Jackson wakes up at 6:04. I was starving when I got there and then had to choke down fruit punch concoction. It wasn't as bad as the other 2 times I've done it, so somehow, the drink has improved. I am hoping to pass this test on the first try. It would be a first since I've had to do the 3 hour test with Jackson and Brayden. I had gestational diabetes with Brayden and really don't want to do that for the next 9 weeks.

Today, I got a regular OB check up. The first one since before we found out the baby has Potter's. I felt like normal for a split second until the doctor walked in. He measured my belly which he said measures right on track as if I had amniotic fluid. Maybe God is working some other miracle I don't know about. He also said that in 2 weeks he'll schedule my c-section for 36-37 weeks gestation. That should put me delivering the first week of September. Maybe I'll ask for 9-9-09 and see what they say. It would be kinda fun! I have another sono in 4 weeks and that's all I know for now.

It's been an emotional couple of days. I think Jason is starting to process through this more and my anxiety level is rising steadily. I had to call my mom this afternoon and just cry (more like balled) my eyes out. I don't know if I can do this. Can I really hold my baby and kiss him/her goodbye? I don't think I can, but I don't have a choice. It's not fair. Why has God chosen me, with his all-knowing and loving heart, to carry this cross? I don't want to have to pick a delivery date. I can feel the ulcer already starting to form with the anticipation that by getting on the operating table, I'm fully aware that giving birth to my child is also his death. I just don't want to have to know when that day is. Someone will probably have to drag me to the OR as I'll be inconsolable at the moment.

As many of you are continuing your prayers for me, please pray that I can be strong and not weak, accepting of His will, and have the courage to face the next 9 weeks or so with thanksgiving that I have been chosen to be the mother of this baby.

Peace and God Bless!

Go Rangers!

Tuesday night, Jason and I went to the Rangers game with his friend Aaron and his wife Andi. Andi is 9 months pregnant with a little boy due July 27th. Imagine how great we were feeling sitting in the stands. Thankfully a cold front came through and instead of the 101 degrees it was supposed to be, it was only 85. Still we were hot, uncomfortable, and feeling a little claustrophobic sitting there. I had a strange older man in front of me who liked to put his arm stretched out on the seat chair next to him. This isn't really a problem unless you have a drink in the cup holder on the back of that chair. I guess he didn't realize there was a straw poking him in the armpit. It was slightly annoying and grossed me out too. We just kept laughing and eventually, I had to throw the drink out. Other than that weird little scenario, we had a good time.