Just needed to write...

It's only 8:40 pm, but all 3 of my boys are in bed asleep. It's been a long day for everyone. I'm trying to get some last minute stuff to memorialize the baby and before you know it, I'm crying uncontrollably at the computer and saying out loud, "I don't want to do this!" This is the downfall of it being too quiet around here. I'm all done with the dishes, not tired enough to go to bed, and time to think. I guess with all the contractions earlier in the week, I was thinking I would have a baby soon. Now that it's been 3 days since I've had any, I'm starting to think we might make it another 4 1/2 weeks. I even have tears running down my cheek as I type this post.

I look at these other women who have put their scrapbooks together and realize I'm not the only one who has had to go through this, but it just makes my heart break. The other day I finally found a small enough t-shirt for the baby to put on after he/she is born. One in pink and the other blue with a yellow duck. My dear friend Lexy made the baby a blanket that we'll wrap him in and then take home with us. She's made one for both boys and they sleep with them every night. It really is special.

I don't know what else to write, but am just sad. It's been a long few months and with end nearing soon, I'm ready for it to all be over so we can try and move on and enjoy the boys we have been so blessed to have already.